A new Dawn

View previous topic View next topic Go down

A new Dawn

Post  EdenDawn on Sun Feb 06, 2011 3:36 am

Eden wakes as the sunlight comming through the window caresses her face, and stretches a bit before pulling the covers back, and swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, her feet recoiling a bit at the cool floor.

"The start of a new day, and a new adventure" she says as she looks over at her pokemon, all sleeping in a big pile on the bottom corner of her bed. And as she speaks Gaiden opens his eyes, and sleepily moves over nuzzing into her hand as she pets him.

"Today is going to be big, I can feel it. Today we may meet our destiny" and she smiles down at him as the rest of her pets slowly wake.

Standing, she moves over to the closet, pulling out her favorite jeans and throwing on a bright green blouse, then after running a comb through her hair she gathers her things, mentally checking off a list in her head as she puts everything neatly into her pack. Then grabbing her pokeballs she gathers everyone but Gaiden, putting them on top of her pack, as she takes one last look around her small dwelling, remembering when she told her parents she needed her own space, and moved to the unused guest quarters on the far edge of the farm.

"This has been a good home, I hope to return soon" And she runs a hand under Gaiden's stomach, hoistin g him up to the top of her pack, where he easily nestles against the back of her neck. ears flicking now and then as he watches for danger. Reaches out for the last apple on the counter, and heads out the door, locking it behind her as she bites into her breakfast, the slightly sour juice making her pucker a bit.

Looking around at the bright sun streaming down, and the green grass waving softy in the breeze she heads south, whistling as she walks along. Passing the ruines she stops a moment and looks at them, so many happy hours spend rummaging there finding ancient artifacts, and she sighs slightly as she continues past them not having time for that today, as she continues down the road to meet her destiny.


avatar
EdenDawn

Posts : 13
Join date : 2011-02-05
Age : 104

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: A new Dawn

Post  EdenDawn on Mon Feb 14, 2011 5:50 pm

The village fades away and the countryside sprawls around her as she walks down Route 209. Looking to the east she sees the Lost Tower, and pauses a moment in remembrance to the lost pets. Continuing on her way still thinking of those who lie under the tower, Gaiden’s tail suddenly flicks across her face “hey there buddy watch it” she says to him, but he presses his paw into her neck repeatedly until she finally takes him down and holds him `”What’s wrong little one?”.

Gaiden jumps from her arms and runs over to the side of the road into a berry patch, and Eden chuckles “You are always hungry aren’t you” And she moves over to join him, picking berries and placing them in a container she brought along, every now and then she tosses one to him and laughs as he catches it in his mouth. After filling the container and his tummy, they continue down the road `”Once we get to HeartHome, I think we should stop and have a cupcake or something sweet to give us some extra energy”. And hearing her words Gaiden nuzzles the back of her neck, happily.

Eden whistles softly while she walks, the road turning to the west, and crossing a series of bridges. She smiles as she passes other trainers out for practice with their Pokémon, and stops for a moment to listen to the bubbling water in the stream, enjoying a bit of peaceful reflection before moving on toward the edge of the HeartHome City.

As she enters the city the hustle and bustle overwhelms her for a moment, and she just stands and stares. But with a nudge from Gaiden she quickly gets her bearings and her nose takes her toward a bakery, stepping inside and ordering 5 cupcakes, asking for directions to the nearby park as she pays for the treats. Carries the sack of goodies toward Amity Square, and takes a seat near the fountain, releasing all her pets, and giving each a cupcake. She sits back on the bench, crossing her legs, and brushing her hair back across her shoulder as she lets them frolic and play for awhile with the other pets around.


Finishing her cupcake she licks her lips, getting the last bit of frosting from the corner of her mouth, she is just ready to stand when Aryth comes running back as fast as lightening, and dives behind her. Before she can ask what’s wrong, a shellder appears and casts brine, the salty water hitting Eden as Aryth hides behind her legs.

No sooner does Eden wipe the stinging fluid from her eyes as Malkier runs out to protect his Mistress. Eden calls out
“Ember” as she sees him run toward the Shellder, and fire shoots from his nose, Shellder responds with Brine again, but Mak is too quick, curling into a ball to avoid a direct hit and comes at the opponent from behind, landing squarely on his shell and using Ember once again to slowly increase the temperature inside until the Shellder gives up and slinks back to his Trainer.

Malkier trots over to Eden his head held high, and she leans down to scratch under his chin
"Good Job Mak, you are always bigger than you seem." And Mak nuzzles her hand, still proud of his fight, and goes back into his pokeball with a smile.

Eden calls Cora over and has her get in as well, then picks up Aryth gently and holds her.
“You are ok, no scratches on your pretty face, but you have to be careful or you will get them.” Aryth nods and whispers Sorry in her soft voice. And Eden can’t help but smile at her `”It's ok Ary, and to cheer you up I have a surprise for you” and she stands as Gaiden jumps on her pack, curling himself around her neck once again she walks toward the center of town, to the Contest Hall, where they sit for awhile and watch the beautiful Pokémon perform. Aryth sits on Eden’s lap enchanted by the whole experience, and chatters nonstop about what she can do to improve her own looks.
avatar
EdenDawn

Posts : 13
Join date : 2011-02-05
Age : 104

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: A new Dawn

Post  EdenDawn on Mon Feb 21, 2011 5:46 pm

Eden listens to Ary with a smile as they watch the contest to its end, the trophy going to an especially fine looking Lanturn. Her body shining brightly as she receives the trophy.
Eden stands and whispers to Ary
`”Would you like to go congratulate her?” , and Ary starts shaking with excitement, her leaves chattering together as she shakes her head yes. And as they walk up there Ary whispers “Can I get her autograph?” With a soft chuckle Eden nods `”Of course but it may be a bit wet”

After congratulations and a rather wet, but legible autograph Ary starts to nod off, and Eden tucks her back into her poke ball, setting it safely in her pack. Then she gives Gaiden a scratch behind his ears and continues East out of town.

Shortly after leaving town a commotion captures her attention and looking up along the high road she sees a large tree, covered with what looks like honey, the sweet smell blowing in the breeze brings a smile to her lips. And as she looks closer she sees hundreds of small pokemon buzzing around the tree. Searching through her file she realizes they are Cormbee, greedily filling themselves with as much honey as they can carry. She watches them for awhile, as they busy themselves with their work, other pokemon occasionally trying to reach the branches, and the Corm’s chasing them away, guarding their treasure as best they can. After what seems like nearly an hour she marks the spot on her Poketech, planning on returning some day to capture one, and heads off, crossing more bridges along her way.

As she walks the rolling grasslands eventually give way to rockier ground, and to the north a tall mountain appears, its hulking bulk shrouded in clouds at the top. Stopping at the crossroads she turns to look up at it, eyes moving up along the crags and spires toward the snow covered crown and she pulls a coin from her pocket and tells Gaiden
`”Heads we go east, Tails-north…you call it” And she tosses the coin into the air……..


Last edited by EdenDawn on Fri Mar 04, 2011 4:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
avatar
EdenDawn

Posts : 13
Join date : 2011-02-05
Age : 104

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: A new Dawn

Post  EdenDawn on Fri Mar 04, 2011 4:16 pm

Gaiden flicks his tail at her ear as the coin reaches its apex, making his call. Eden snatches it from the air flipping it onto her wrist, tails showing from under her hand. “Looks like we are going mountain climbing” she says to him, as her eyes scan the mountain once again “Does it look taller to you than it did just a minute ago?” She asks, not really expecting an answer.

Adjusting her pack a bit she turns north, feeling the burn in her legs as the road continues upward toward the mountain. The terrain grows rocky as she ascends, grasslands giving way to low scrubby bushes and stunted trees the higher she climbs. Stopping to catch her breath a moment she moves to the edge of the road and peers down to the valley, the land spreading out like a quilt beneath her, criss-crossed by shapes and colors as trees, farms and towns dot the countryside.

With a soft sigh she starts upward again
`”I don’t’ think I’m in as good as shape as I thought Gaiden, maybe I should have gone east “and she thinks this mountain will never end, her muscles straining with every step, and just as she is on the brink of heading back she turns a corner and sees an opening into a cave. Stopping a few paces from the entrance she peers into the darkness, knowing this is the only way, but feeling the hairs on her neck prickle as she looks in. Gaiden too must feel her nervousness because he jumps s up on top of the entrance, as if he prefers to climb over rather than go through.

“We should go in, I’m sure there is nothing to fear” and looks up at him, holding out her arm to get him to come back down off the precipice. Gaiden paws around a bit at a rock over the door, then leaps back to her arms, a packet in his mouth and as she pulls it free he mews “energy”. Eden holds the packet up and examines the fine powder inside, wetting her finger, and sticking it in the mix she tastes it, and winces at the bitter flavor as it hits her tongue “Yep that’s Energy powder, good boy Gaiden”

After giving his ears a good scratch she lifts him up so he can crawl to his favorite place, lying on her pack, curled around her neck, and walks into the dark, dank cave. (cont......)

_________________
avatar
EdenDawn

Posts : 13
Join date : 2011-02-05
Age : 104

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: A new Dawn

Post  EdenDawn on Tue Mar 08, 2011 6:11 pm

Eden stops just past the entrance, letting her eyes get used to the darkness. After a few moments pass she realizes that there is some light filtering through the cave, and she is able to see clearer than expected. She runs her hand along the cool, rough rock feeling the dampness of the stone under her fingers; she then turns deeper into the tunnel, stepping carefully around broken stones and uneven footing.

Continuing through the cave she carefully notes any side caverns that seem to veer off, sticking to the wide, main cavern which seems to lead up at a steady angle. She walks as quietly as she can past sleeping Zubats clinging to the ceiling and Graveler pressed against the side of the walls, seemingly sleeping, but taking no chances at a confrontation. Before long she starts passing some beautiful deep pools, the water in the filtered light a deep blue-green, the surface as smooth at glass. Gaiden jumps down from her shoulders and pads softly, touching the surface with his paw and small ripple heads out across the pool.

Not long after the ripple Eden notices movement just under the surface, and moving closer she kneels down to peer into the water. At first all she sees is her own image reflected back at her, and then something moves just beneath the surface, splashing her face with the cold water. Gaiden doesn’t hesitate he jumps into the water trying to chase down the Majikarp. Eden starts to laugh at the spectacle, fish splashing and Gaiden swimming toward each other, and she looks around for a pole as she briefly thinks about capturing this Pokémon, and then quickly pushes that thought aside remembering that Majikarp are mostly useless when it comes to fighting. So she calls out
“Tackle” as Gaiden nears.

The fish returns with Splash, but one more Tackle from Gaiden and the Majikarp swims off wounded and defeated. Gaiden tries to turn around and head back to shore, but the cold water and fight have taken too much out of him, and he looks to Eden pleading for help. Looking around in the dim light Eden sees an Escape Rope coiled nearby, and reaches for it, making a quick lasso and tossing it over to her Eevee, pulling him to the edge of the pond.

Gaiden gratefully nuzzles into her hand as she picks him up, and Eden uses the extra shirt in her pack to dry him as best as she can, then coils the rope back up and attaches it to her pack
“You never know when a rope will come in handy on an adventure” she says to him. Gaiden nods while shivering, seemingly agreeing with her, his fur still wet and sticking to him, making him not all that attractive at the moment. But warm and fuzzy or cold and wet, Eden cannot help but love him and she scoops him up into her arms and carries him, holding him close to her chest for warmth.

They continue through the levels of the cave, passing more Pokémon who seem to shy away. Perhaps the sight of Gaiden with his wet hair, looking like he has some disease or Mange is enough to keep them at bay, and Eden drops her guard as they continue toward the summit, almost forgetting of the dangers that lurk around every turn. Coming around a bend she can see the light ahead, and from the corner of her eye spies a big mushroom growing just behind a rock. Putting Gaiden down she pulls out her belt knife and leans over to harvest it.

Just as she does, they attack…..she had been followed, that was why the other Pokes were shying away, not because of Gaiden but the ones lurking just beyond her shadow waiting for an opening. A Golbat claws at her pack, pulling her upright, and knocking the knife from her hand, just as Gaiden jumps toward a Graveler, showing no fear despite its much higher abilities. Turning as she is yanked, Eden catches sight of Gaiden in mid leap and yells
“Tackle” but not before the Graveler Rock Throws at him, hitting his ribs and knocking the air out of him, Gaiden falls hard to the ground, and Eden yells `“Endure” hoping it’s not too late to keep him alive, if just barely.

The Golbat continues pulling at her pack trying to strip it off her, sensing her other Pokes are inside, and it lifts her into the air briefly as she struggles against it. One arm falling from the pack she reaches up and manages to get her fingers around one Pokeball, then slips from the pack and drops to one knee on the ground, pushing the button to release another pet.

Cora appears, and must be able to sense the snow falling outside upon the Mountain, as her head turns purplish-blue, the rest of her body a mint green cloud, and she quickly sees the situation. Eden cries out
”Tackle” knowing Cora will never survive against the Graveler but hoping to give herself a chance at escape. The Golbat above her swings low and hits her in the head with her own pack, for a moment she sees stars then takes the empty Pokeball in her hand and throws it at the bat, hoping for a miracle.

The Graveler that Cora is tackling suddenly uses Magnitude and Eden loses her balance under the shifting ground, falling back into the wall, the ball she threw bouncing off the Golbat and landing near her feet. She calls out
”Tackle” once again hoping that Cora can at least take out one enemy before falling, but the Graveler is too strong, using Rock Throw once again to knock Cora unconscious.

Eden steps back, feeling her back pressed against the cold, damp wall. The Pokémon surround her and move in, just past them she can see Gaiden’s tail, unmoving on the stony floor, and as the cold from the wall seeps through her clothes she takes a deep breath and hopes……


_________________
avatar
EdenDawn

Posts : 13
Join date : 2011-02-05
Age : 104

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: A new Dawn

Post  Simkin on Mon Oct 31, 2011 1:27 am

Simkin and Blaze get their bit if rest that they needed before they continue on about the cave. The sounds of water nearby can start to be heard, as if some water monsters are playing about under the surface and every now and then causing the water to splash letting the sound echo through bouncing off the walls. But thats not the sound that catches his attention the most. A sound that also causes Blaze's fur to stand up then mew quite loudly as if concerned. The cave shakes as if from a small earthquake then settles down.

"What Was that?" Simkin says in a shocked tone. "Felt so close"

Looking to Blaze Simkin runs off the direction of the sound, foolhardy? Perhaps slightly but this is an adventure time to see what he can get into. He runs swerving around giant rocks and startling some Zubats perched nearby that shriek and flutter away the opposite direction. Coming around a bend after only a couple minutes of sprinting he halts suddenly staring at the backs of a flailing Golbat that has a bag, a trainers bag he realizes and a Graveler hovering over a knocked unconscious Castform and nearby an very beaten up Umbreon.

"Oh my word" He mutters quietly. Taking a peek to better survey the scene he notices now the girl trainer caught with her back against the wall pinned. He swiftly thinks up a strategy. Titan is asleep and won't do much good. The Chingling recently caught he has untested. So he thinks and once coming to a stratagem reaches to his belt releasing Bullet and Shades and acting quickly as the flashes of red were sure to gain attention to the Wild Pokemon Ahead.

"Shades lunge forward at the Graveler and Use Grass Knot to knock it down!" Shades taps his Shades and nods running at full speed timing a well aimed grass not to topple the graveler and luck would have it the Graveler noticed enough to turn so he falls away from the unconscious Castform.

"Bullet fly in fast and use Tackle on the Golbat" Hoping the shock will at least cause it to drop the bag. "PidGY!" Bullet cries out and takes course to its destination. Simkin looked to Blaze who was already in motion as if he knew already what his master was planning. "Blaze use Double Team and distract the Graveler and Golbat, once close enough fire off Ember at them both" With a loud enough Mew Blaze uses double team causing momentarily several Blaze's to appear that cause quite the confusion of being overwhelmed to the Graveler who is now getting back up.

"Shades, use Grass Knot once more!" Simkin exclaimed right as Bullet tackled the Golbat from the air having caught it by total surprise the bag dropping from its grasp but the bags contents are spilled. "Bullet use Sand-Attack and kick up dirt from the floor at the Golbat" Bullet cries "Gey!" and up goes the dirt from the floor to blind the Golbat as a Pokeball rolled towards the feet of the frightened trainer ahead.

Blaze who has now honed in close enough fires off an Ember that hits the Graveler simultaneously with the Grass-Knot causing the Graveler to fall once more from the double hit, its now barely able to stand. Without missing a beat and following commands Blaze fires off another Ember at the Golbat entangled with Bullet "Bullet fly up and dodge the incoming Ember!" Simkin commands and Bullet does so with haste as the Ember connects causing the Golbat to slam into the nearby wall and it slowly twirls descending to the floor injured. Reaching into his own back he grabs a Pokeball and lets fly at the Graveler thankful surprise was on his side.


Last edited by Simkin on Mon Oct 31, 2011 2:25 am; edited 1 time in total

_________________
avatar
Simkin
Admin

Posts : 68
Join date : 2011-02-04
Location : Celestic Town

View user profile http://pokemonregionsrp.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: A new Dawn

Post  EdenDawn on Mon Oct 31, 2011 1:56 am

Feels her knees grow weak as she presses against the wall, looking from Gaiden to the Graveler and Golbat, then suddenly sees movement behind them, and her heart sinks more I am so sorry Gaiden she says as she thinks this will be her last stand, her adventure ending not 3 hours after it started.

A red light flashes, then another and hope lights her eyes Another trainer?
She thinks to herself, not caring who it might be, just that someone has found her and is trying to help. Looking from Gaiden to the Pokes attacking her she stands stronger to see them turn slightly, and leans forward to get a better look at her Umberon Gaiden? whispering not to attract the Golbat and Graveler to her once again, and as the tip of his tail moves slightly she lets out the breath she didn't know she was holding.

Turns back to the fight as she hears a crash, watching her pack hit the floor and spill the contents out toward her. Seeing the pokeball roll toward her she reaches slowly for it, fingers stretching yet the rest of her staying close to the wall, not wanting to be noticed. By the weight she knows it contains Malkier, but has no choice but to release him, and hits the button. As soon as he hits the floor he grunts in anger at the scene around him, waiting for an order from Eden.

Eden doesn't speak but instead quickly throws the ball at the Golbat, not wasting any motions, and is pleasantly surprised as it is captured, looking down at Malkier hoping he doesn't know that was his ball.


Last edited by EdenDawn on Fri Nov 04, 2011 2:53 pm; edited 2 times in total

_________________
avatar
EdenDawn

Posts : 13
Join date : 2011-02-05
Age : 104

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: A new Dawn

Post  Simkin on Mon Oct 31, 2011 3:01 pm

With a thunk the Pokeball hits the Graveler and opens it and with a flash of red the Graveler is taken inside it disappearing and the ball drops to the floor where it shakes, Simkin realizing he is holding his breath releases it when the light turns out and the Graveler is held within the Pokeball.

"Whew" Simkin says looking at Shades, Bullet, and Blaze all who look a bit worn, Especially Blaze. "Take a rest now, you were most magnificent" Holding up two balls Shades and Bullet return to them. Blaze mews softly despite being worn out, he rushes over to the Umbreon and nuzzles to it "Pix? Vul, Vulpix!" Blaze speaks in concerned tone tipping head at the Umbreons trainer.

Simkin head over to the trainer resting his hands on his sides thumbs looping the inside of his pockets, a bit nervous but excited at meeting another trainer he was able to help out. "Are you alright?" He questions as he waits for confirmation not wanting to intrude as he is a stranger still, so he introduces himself hoping to shake her from her fright "I am Simkin"



_________________
avatar
Simkin
Admin

Posts : 68
Join date : 2011-02-04
Location : Celestic Town

View user profile http://pokemonregionsrp.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: A new Dawn

Post  EdenDawn on Fri Nov 04, 2011 3:13 pm

Eden lifts her eyes as another light flashes and the Graveler disappears, then she scans the area, looking for more lurking in the shadows, still crouching against the wall. And as the mysterious trainer moves closer she shrinks back a little, face hardening as she is not sure of his intentions, wishing she had not dropped her knife.

As he speaks she hears genuine concern in his question, her features soften a little and she answers quickly
“I am ok, thank you”. And seeing an opening she scurries across the floor on her knees to where the Vulpix is nuzzling Gaiden, reaching him she finds that the Vulpix is causing no harm but Gaiden seems to be responding slightly, and she closes her eyes, visibly relaxing to know he will live.

She then reaches down, gently nudging Vulpix aside, and scoops her Umbreon into her arms, stroking his soft fur
“Gaiden it will all be ok, I will get you to a center as soon as I can find one”. Gaiden mews softly, too small for her to make out, but sounds like ‘sleep….love…’ and she nods, reaching for the empty pokeball that she originally threw at the Golbat, and presses the button, putting him in the safest place she knows.

As Gaiden disappears, she moves over to Cora, finding her pokeball and doing the same. Her heart heavy and worry furrowing her brow, she remembers the other trainer must still be near and she places the 2 balls on the floor near the captured Golbat, and turns around standing as she brushes off her jeans.


I’m sorry, I was so worried about my pokes I forgot to introduce myself, I am Eden…Eden Dawn Soulwind. And you said Simkin? It’s nice to meet you “ And she gets her first real look at her savior, tall, slightly muscular, dressed in red with an ostentatious feather sticking from the side of his cap that somehow makes her smile a little to look at. Then she sees his eyes, emerald pools that seem to look right through her, and sudden nervousness swells in her stomach. “Th..thank y..you for helping me” she says with a touch of stammer in her voice, then quickly goes over to her pack, busying herself picking up her things, Malkier joining her to nuzzle her already fumbling hands, trying to think about something besides those amazing orbs.

After gathering her things she turns back to him, trying to gather her courage, suddenly feeling extremely shy and off kilter
“Would you..um..could you please tell me where the nearest center is, I should get Cora and Gaiden there right away.

_________________
avatar
EdenDawn

Posts : 13
Join date : 2011-02-05
Age : 104

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: A new Dawn

Post  Simkin on Fri Nov 04, 2011 6:37 pm

Simkin watched her, studied her- almost as he does and would every thing he comes into contact with that is unfamiliar with him so that he can familiarize himself with the new subject. In doing so he does realize that she too, is a new trainer. A bit inexperienced to the world, almost as much as he is though the main difference thus far is that he has studied the region and knows the closest Pokemon Center would be to exit Mt Coronet and head West to Eterna City or exit East towards Celestic Town.

The second thing he notices about this new trainer, her name Eden Dawn Soulwind by full name. He thinks to himself "What an interesting yet nice name" he notices though that she is rather cute. Her initial shock and reluctance regarding him at first he finds admirable that she is not trusting right away. Then her concern for her pokemons well being makes him even more already liking this girl. For to him your pokemon are you friends, and should be treated always with utmost care as you would a friends safety.

Once he finishes his assessment of her he realizes that it has been a minute or so and still has not answered her and he flashes a smile towards her "Well met, miss Soulwind" Her shyness showing to him as she is unaccustomed to asking for help, though at this moment it surely is needed. "Yes, i can help you with that" He takes a look at his PokeNav tapping with his index finger to bring up the schematics of the cave nodding to himself really as she cannot see the map he is looking at "Alright the closest exit is short distance away and leads towards Celestic Town, i suggest we head that route" He moves in closing the short distance to her and helps her gather any belongings still needing gathering.


~Simkin and Eden set out and have little trouble navigating through the cave until they find the exit leading towards Celestic, the sun beams through piercing the darkness of the cave. The sun beginning to show the signs of the coming night as it rests in the sky. They travel uninterrupted the short distance of Route 211 the only stopping for a very short rest to let them both catch breathes as they have been moving unstop. During that time a nearby bush hosting some Pecha and Grepa berries, the berries are great ingredients for making Poke treats or to eat alone for his Pokemon. He gathers a few for both himself and for Eden's knowing her Pokemon could use some pepping up after they are healed thinking these will do the trick. After that they continue on, making it into Celestic Town just as the sun begins to descend down onto the horizon beginning the night where they enter the Pokemon Center.


~END OF RP~

_________________
avatar
Simkin
Admin

Posts : 68
Join date : 2011-02-04
Location : Celestic Town

View user profile http://pokemonregionsrp.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: A new Dawn

Post  EdenDawn on Mon Nov 07, 2011 9:19 pm

Storyline is continued under Celestic Town: Making Friends

_________________
avatar
EdenDawn

Posts : 13
Join date : 2011-02-05
Age : 104

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: A new Dawn

Post  Simkin on Thu Nov 10, 2011 8:28 pm

For Eden

1.Grammar and Spelling- 4

(5 misspelled words, 5 Grammar mistakes, 1 Wrong Usage of a Homonym)

2.Knowledge-5

Amazing Knowledge used in this Beginning story, nothing else i can say bravo.

3.Imagery- 5

Paint a picture? That is exactly what was done while i was reading. Very well done here.

4.Execution- 5

Again what another great part well done. Especially love the "Psychic" link of communication between you and your Pokemon. Had to re-read your profile for that tidbit.


Overall- 4.75

Rewards-

4 Star Rating- 08,000 Pokemon Experience, 300 Trainer Experience, 08,000 PokeDollars

_________________
avatar
Simkin
Admin

Posts : 68
Join date : 2011-02-04
Location : Celestic Town

View user profile http://pokemonregionsrp.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: A new Dawn

Post  Simkin on Thu Nov 10, 2011 8:42 pm

For Simkin

1.Grammar and Spelling- 3

(4 misspelled words, 16 Grammar mistakes)

2.Knowledge-5


3.Imagery- 5


4.Execution- 5



Overall- 4.5

Rewards-

4 Star Rating- 08,000 Pokemon Experience, 300 Trainer Experience, 08,000 PokeDollars

_________________
avatar
Simkin
Admin

Posts : 68
Join date : 2011-02-04
Location : Celestic Town

View user profile http://pokemonregionsrp.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: A new Dawn

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum